Bigger Better Beards

You see kids, I used to be a “working professional” and may in fact be one again someday. When you are a “working professional” you have to do stupid things. Dumb things. Absurd things. Things like:

– get up before 8 AM

– iron your shirts

– not wear jeans and a hoodie every day

– use proper english in emails (for example; “please see the attached blah blah blah”…”per our conversation last Tuesday, you will provide everything on the PBC in the next seven minutes” )

– brush your teeth

– be polite to people on the phone who are in Argentina and don’t speak english anyway (wtf?)

– count 43,443 2X4’s at some lumber yard in Sanford (WTF!?!?)

…and worst of all

– shave

Now I hate shaving. The hair in my face  is weird. It grows at odd angles making it dern near impossible to not scratch the heck out of myself when I do it. So, I avoid it if at all possible. Hence, since I left me last job I have had a beard. It has not been very long. I keep it neat and trim; both good things. I love having a beard. I think it looks good on me. One day, when I stop caring about just about everything. I am going to grow a big sick nasty beard. I will look like the guys in ZZ Top and it will be awesome. There are some who have tried tp persuade me not to do this. I think those people just need a little encouragement to realize how awesome beards are.

It is for this purpose that I post the link below. If this does not convince you, then you hate freedom…


4 thoughts on “Bigger Better Beards

  1. I kept pushing Jon to grow out his go-T thing this summer and he got a few inches worth and I wanted him to keep going…but he was too scared. I’m a fan of the big burly beards!

  2. 1) You get up at 6am every morning anyway.
    2) You love brushing your teeth, and probably do it more often than the average person.
    3) I agree with the point about proper English in emails. I find myself using the word “per” a lot. (ie. Per our phone conversation…) Who says that?
    4) I can assure you that no random, attractive woman will approach you and ask to “touch, stroke, and frolic” in your ” big sick nasty beard.”

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